Wouter J. den Haan - Friend of Dorothy and music fan without talent





My Gay/Queer journey speaking its name
& some other stuff

          ... He said, 'My name is Love.'
Then straight the first did turn himself to me
And cried, 'He lieth, for his name is Shame,
But I am Love, and I was wont to be
Alone in this fair garden, till he came
Unasked by night; I am true Love, I fill
The hearts of boy and girl with mutual flame.'
Then sighing, said the other, 'Have thy will,
I am the love that dare not speak its name.'
From Two Loves (1892) by Alfred Douglas.







In the mid nineties, I was one of the first at UCSD who created their own website. And almost right away I posted a row with the gay rainbow flags on my website which didn't contain much else yet as my career had just started; a couple years later I added two pictures of me in gay demonstrations. Over the years, I have received quite a few touching words of thanks by students for doing this; and just the one negative email. Sadly enough, even in 2022 there are still students who thank me for this personal page because they don't see enough people "like them" in their university life. Putting diversity flags on buildings during pride month isn't enough.


WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?




SOMETHING INSIDE SO STRONG

Do you face discrimination, inequity, injustice, bigotry, intolerance, or prejudice, just because you are (considered) different? Then this is a song for you.

"Something Inside So Strong" was written by Labi Siffre in 1984, inspired by a documentary on Apartheid. But he mentioned later, that the song was also influenced by his experience as a gay man. The first time I heard this song, it was sung by Son of a Tutu in Heaven (the famous London gay nightclub). This Youtube version is from a performance by the same artist in the Royal Vauxhaul Tavern, another famous gay venue in London.

The higher you build your barriers
The taller I become
The further you take my rights away
The faster I will run
You can deny me
You can decide to turn your face away
No matter, cos there's

Something inside so strong
I know that I can make it
Tho' you're doing me wrong, so wrong
You thought that my pride was gone
Oh no, something inside so strong
Oh oh oh oh oh something inside so strong

The more you refuse to hear my voice
The louder I will sing
You hide behind walls of Jericho
Your lies will come tumbling
Deny my place in time
You squander wealth that's mine
My light will shine so brightly
It will blind you
Cos there's

Something inside so strong
I know that I can make it
Tho' you're doing me wrong, so wrong
You thought that my pride was gone
Oh no, something inside so strong
Oh oh oh oh oh something inside so strong
Brothers and sisters
When they insist we're just not good enough
When we know better
Just look 'em in the eyes and say
We're gonna do it anyway 2x

Something inside so strong
And I know that I can make it
Tho' you're doing me wrong, so wrong
You thought that my pride was gone
Oh no, something inside so strong
Oh oh oh oh oh something inside so strong

Brothers and sisters
When they insist we're just not enough
When we know better
Just look 'em in the eyes and say
We're gonna do it anyway 4x

Because there's something inside so strong
And I know that I can make it
Tho' you're doing me, so wrong
Oh no, something inside so strong
Oh oh oh oh oh something inside so strong




Only my eyes stayed the same
A queer! I am one now and always have been!